Week 13, Day 5: Friday, 3 May 2019 Franky day 4

Welcome, sweet Ophelia!

 

FIELD TRIP FUN!

ADVANCED PLACEMENT TESTS ARE COMING UP!!!

• 

  Fifty Fun Things to do during an AP Exam

  Hahahahaha–read this for some COMIC RELIEF!

•   Actually, see this week’s home page for some EXCELLENT tips!

    by Roy Deering, AP Instructor in Oklahoma

  NOTE:  You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

  1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

  2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

  3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

  4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.

  5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m so sure you can hear me thinking. ” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

  6. Bring cheerleaders.

  7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand any of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

  8. Bring a Game Boy (or today’s popular equivalent). Play with the volume at max level.

  9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

  10. Bring pets.

  11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

  12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas. “If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

  13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

  14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

  15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

  16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

  17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

  18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

  19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

  20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

  21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

  22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).

  23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

  24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Forget this!” and walk out triumphantly.

  25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)

  26. Text.

  27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”

  28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

  29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.

  30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

  31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say, “You don’t really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!”

  32. Bring a water pistol with you.

  33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

  34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

  35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

  36. Come in wearing a full knight’s outfit, complete with sword and shield.

  37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

  38. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

  39.  Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you’re not just failing, you’re getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. “

  40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

  41. One word: Wrestlemania.

  42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

  43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

  44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

  45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

  46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

  47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

  48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

  49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say, “It helps me think. ” Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don’t forget to use the phrase “Told you so.”

  50. Answer the exam with the “Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher”

 Check out this Frankenstein commercial link:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9FVETgTsE0Y

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9FVETgTsE0Y

Today’s Quotes of the Day:

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. —Kurt Vonnegut

 In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less, because passing civilization along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor and the highest responsibility anyone could have.                -Lee Iacocca, automobile executive (b. 1924)

Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. -Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)

Today’s allusion:

Red Herring

Words of the Day

tenable
casuistry
discrepant
consuetudinary
unavailing

triangulate

MEANING:

verb tr.:
1. To position between two extremes, for example, in politics to appeal to both left and right wings.
2. a. To make triangular.
b. To divide an area into triangles.
c. To determine a location by measuring angles to it from known points.
adjective:
Composed of or marked with triangles.

ETYMOLOGY:

From Latin triangulare (to make a triangle), from triangulus (three-cornered). Earliest documented use: 1833.

USAGE:

“The only safe path was to triangulate, to split the difference between traditional liberal stances and those of free market economists.”
Robin Sears; Progressive Leaders Need to Win Back the Middle Class; The Toronto Star (Canada); Mar 23, 2012.

Group Check-in:

1. Weekend?
2. How is the literary theory paper going?
3. LITERARY THEORIES PAPER IS NOT DUE UNTIL TUESDAY, MAY SEVENTH!!!

 Class Plan:

1. ALLUSION OF THE DAY / WORDS / HW
   
2. ANNOUNCEMENTS–
3. Discuss what you learned while writing the essay
4. GUEST appearance from Hannah Stably who played Ophelia in the Wayward Theatre Company’s Hamlet production last year at the James J. Hill House in St. Paul.
5. If time: Discuss the interpretive questions you devised for the opening of Frankenstein.
6. If time: Discuss Coleridge’s “Rime” and Memetics up to a point

   MEMETICS

 Click  memetics  to visit a couple of  websites devoted to the meme.

Tonight’s HW:

1. Assignment F4- Frankenstein chapters 1-5 and FIGs on the reading.  

2. Assignment F5- Coleridge’s “Kubla Khan” and Lamb  

3.     

    BONUS COUPON OPPORTUNITY IF YOU WENT ON THE  Romeo & Juliet PARK SQUARE THEATER FIELD TRIP!  DUE on FRIDAY, May 10. Type a letter of feedback of at least one side of a page (worth one 3 point BONUS coupon) to someone involved in your Park Square experience the day of the field trip. Discuss what you liked about what the person did and/or suggestions that help the experience be even better and/or any questions you would like ask of the person.  You may either email the letter to Wally at lwallenberg@edenpr.org or give Wally a hard copy the feedback letter.

   Address the feedback letter to ONE of the following people:

   a.

    Mary Finnerty (Educational Programs Director)

   b. David Mann (Director of Romeo & Juliet)

   c.  any of the artistic staff–see list right below:

   d.  to one of your workshop teachers–Jen (IMPROV 1)  or Dane (IMPROV 2) or Brian (USC) or Tessie (Make up) or Doug (RAPIER) or Aaron (INV—Making the Invisible Visible) or Eric (DIA—British Dialects)

   e. to one of the actors (They will get the letters and might even respond to you!)  See below: